


Ways to Say It

by Winterling42



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Missing Scene, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25756372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterling42/pseuds/Winterling42
Summary: A short reflection on Yasha's feelings for Veth. Not that she'd ever act on them. Of course.
Relationships: Nott | Veth Brenatto/Yasha
Comments: 7
Kudos: 31
Collections: Everybody Loves Revetha





	Ways to Say It

_ “Are you in love with her?” _

Yasha looked down at the goblin snuggled up next to her, barely even as long as her torso, and felt her heart flop over. Nott snored a little, sleeping on her back, so Yasha tried to roll her, just so gently, with the cloak she’d used to wrap them both. This wasn’t the first time Nott had chosen to sleep next to her in the dome, but Yasha couldn’t figure out  _ why _ it kept happening. 

The first time, she’d frozen. Looked frantically at Caleb, still absorbed in his spell-casting, and then at Beau sitting next to him. Beau had just shrugged, and Nott curled her fingers into Yasha’s sleep shirt and smiled with her eyes closed. 

“I’m not very comfortable.” Yasha whispered, even as she pulled the cloak over both of them. 

“Neither am I,” Nott whispered back. One long ear flicked back towards the group when Caleb muttered, but she didn’t move. 

It wasn’t every night, or even most of them. Most of the time, she still slept curled up with Caleb, or occasionally with Jester. But those two made  _ sense _ —there were times  _ Yasha _ would have liked to be that small and huddled next to Jester, thick as thieves. And Caleb-and-Nott would always be the way she thought of them, even when neither of them seemed to be able to see it. 

But it felt  _ special _ , when Nott (Veth) chose to come curl up with  _ her _ . 

Like everything else that Obann took from her, losing that closeness was a wound that got deeper with time.

“Do you really think I’m evil?” Yasha asked. They were on the gun deck of the  _ Ball Eater _ , the first night back at sea. Yasha found herself comforted by the rock of the boat, the  _ shush shush  _ of the waves. She was being quiet, so that none of the others in the rooms beyond heard her. Maybe Veth wouldn’t hear either. Maybe that was for the best. 

Veth, in her hammock, stirred. Yasha could see the sparkle of her tattoos in the dark. She watched the halfling woman climb down, and didn’t remember Veth couldn’t see in the dark anymore until she tripped over a crate of cannon balls on her way over. “ _ Shit _ ,” Veth hopped forward on one foot, hissing curses like a dirty version of Caduceus’s kettle. “ _ Ass-fucking mother shitter. Balls!” _

“Are you okay?” Yasha asked, and Veth used Yasha’s voice to reorient herself.

“You could have helped, you know,” she said, plopping down on the edge of Yasha’s bedroll. “You yell ‘Marco’ and I yell ‘Polo’ so I don’t end up falling out of those holes we stick the guns through.” She was still rubbing distractedly at her foot, so Yasha could just...look at her, and smile, and feel how heavy her heart was. 

It was a familiar feeling, and a look she’d seen on another face turned towards Veth. “What exactly are you doing?” she asked, as Veth laid down and tugged viciously on one of the blankets to free up a corner. 

“Proving something,” Veth said smugly. “Now lie down.” 

Yasha did, Veth maneuvering her arm so she could use it as a pillow. Even so small, she took up quite a bit more room as Veth than she had as Nott. Yasha pressed her back into the hull of the ship, and there was a visceral  _ boom _ every time they struck a wave. It reminded her of thunder. 

“Okay,” Yasha said, staring at a point above Veth’s head. “Now what?” 

“Now go to sleep! Jeez, you’d think you’d never shared a dome with me before.” Veth settled herself more comfortably on half of Yasha’s bedroll. After a moment, when Yasha couldn’t think of anything else to say, she added, “You’ve got plenty of people telling you you’re not evil, Yash. I tease you about it so that  _ you _ have to say it. Would I sleep with an evil person?”

There were a lot of things fighting in Yasha’s head right then, feelings and thoughts and ideas that should  _ not _ be said out loud. It took her a moment to realize the question wasn’t rhetorical. “No.” It  _ was  _ still Veth though, so she said, “Well. That minotaur, though—” just so Veth would laugh and slap her shoulder playfully. 

“He wasn’t  _ evil _ though, even if we didn’t know that. You should stop listening to Jester’s version, that whole thing was blown  _ way _ out of proportion.” 

Yasha was content to let that be the last word, to brush her hair out of the way and let her other arm fall across Veth’s side. Just to stop the halfling woman from bouncing all across the deck when they hit a big wave. Just in case. 

_ “Are you in love with her?” Because I might be _ . 

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr at [critical-ramblings](https://www.critical-ramblings.tumblr.com)!


End file.
